Peace, Be Still.

"As of now, you and your husband are listed as child abusers..."

Welcome back, friend! Today's thoughts come from a real life experience that my husband and I went through. Let's jump right in, shall we?

Have you ever been in a situation so scary and stressful that you thought you might literally die? Because same. The situation I'm going to speak on today actually did not happen too long ago; about 4 years. Our first born son had just turned 3 months old. It was around Thanksgiving time. One day, I was playing with him and noticed a little bump towards the back of his head. It was a weird bump because it wasn't hard like he hit his head on something, it was "squishy" and his skin was raised. It was about the size of a quarter. At first, I didn't really think much of it. I just thought maybe he did something in his crib while asleep. My brother is a paramedic and he suggested that I have it looked at, just to be safe. I was going to anyway, just so we're clear. I of course hopped on Google and started diagnosing my son like I knew what it was. (Don't we all do that at some time or another?) Then I started to get more worried because per Google there could be blood pooled on his brain, or other fluids. I took my son to the pediatrician that he was seeing at the time. Thank goodness for my Mom! She accompanied me and kept me from panicking. And kept my son happy and comfortable because well... he adores his Mimi. As soon as the Doctor came in, she looked horrified and ran and got another Doctor to come look at my son. They immediately sent us to Dayton Children's to have tests and scans done. Dayton Children's told me I would need to take him downtown to their main campus. My Mom couldn't stay with us all day, and as a 'new Mom' I was terrified to take my son by myself to get all this stuff done. My husband could not get off work until around 8PM. He was at a second shift job at the time. So my husband and I and our son did not arrive to the main Children's campus until about 9PM. Mind you, the other Children's location told me to go downtown asap. But again, I was terrified to go and wanted to wait for my husband. In hindsight, I now see why people thought we were sketchy. 

We arrive and run to the emergency entrance. I go to tell the Receptionist who we are and she says, rather rudely, "I know. We've been waiting for you." Once checked in, we were taken to a room. I cannot even tell you the number of people coming in and out, doing all sorts of things to our son, and asking my husband and I the same questions over and over again. We were admitted to the hospital. When we got upstairs to a room, there were even more people coming in and out. Nurses of course checking on our son but more so people questioning my husband and I. The next morning a surgeon came in and said our son could not eat anything until they could get an MRI scheduled. If you have kids, have you ever been in a state of panic and sadness because you cannot feed your little one? It is the worst feeling in the world. Our son was so hungry he would just scream and cry himself to sleep. We were not able to get the MRI done for seven hours later. During all of this, my husband and I were interviewed separately with hospital case workers. If you haven't figured it out yet, everyone in that hospital wholeheartedly believed we had abused our son and had caused the bump on his head. Talk about more panic and stress and anxiety on top of what we were already feeling. We just wanted to find out what was wrong with our son. Icing on the cake was at the time this all happened, we had a dog at home that was very sick. So my husband had to stay home with her most of the time, while I was all alone and panicking in a children's hospital. 

The next night comes. I think we were in that hospital for a total of 3 days. My husband is back at home checking on the dog. There is a knock at the door. It's a case worker from BC Children Services. She had come to interview me and see what was going on. I was exhausted. I was still panicking about everything. I thought "God why on earth is this happening to me? What is wrong with our son? Where is my husband??" And then I heard it... peace, be still. The case worker asked me a series of questions. I had called my husband and had him on speaker phone so he could hear what was going on. After the interview, the worker handed me a piece of paper and told me "well as of now you and your husband are listed as child abusers. I will have someone call you with information on home visits that will have to take place." All of this happened because my husband and I could not explain how our son got the bump on his head. We had no clue, hence why we went to the hospital to get him checked out. After all the testings and scans and panic and worry, the Doctors couldn't even tell us what it was. They said might be blood but probably a fluid that would dissolve on its own. They said that type of "fluid sac" is common in babies a couple weeks after they're born, if it was a rough delivery. Well, my son was a rough delivery but he had the thing come up months after, not weeks after. We left that hospital defeated.

So, why did I share this rather useless story with you today? Because friend, against all odds or circumstances, Jesus is saying today 'peace, be still.' I have shared this story about our son with a few people before and they always reply with "I would not have kept my cool with the case workers and all that. I would've gone to jail." Looking back, I too ask myself how did I stay so calm? How did I not fly off the handle when being interviewed? It was only by the grace of God. He helped me keep my cool. He brought Scriptures to my mind when all I could do was panic. This is why it's so important to read God's Word! He will bring Scriptures to mind when you need it most. 

Whatever we go through, Jesus will never leave us. It could be something horrific and stressful, or just something we're a little concerned about... He will never leave us. It might feel like we're just out here drowning with no one to save us, but He can. And He will! Even when we don't see or feel like things are getting better, He is still working in our lives. I want to close today with this verse, and I hope it's an encouragement to someone. It is found in God's Word, John 14:27:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."