My Life Now

What do you know, it's been several weeks since I've posted something. I'm sorry friends! Life has been crazy.... and getting crazier if I'm being honest. But now, I have a moment to sit still with my thoughts and to write. So, hi again and let's talk!

I keep bringing up my past, but it's important that I do so that I can show where I was, and where God has brought me. In my last serious relationship, I thought I had the best life. I thought wow I'm living with the man of my dreams (so I thought) and that we would get married and start a family and life would be so great. But, as the years came and went, I was still unmarried. By the grace of God, I had no children either. And I mean like, REALLY by the grace of God. Living with a boyfriend for almost 6 years, living in sexual sin, and not once did I become pregnant. Phew! Anyway, that was where I was. I was starting to think maybe I would just be in love with this guy forever and it would just be us two, the end. That wasn't a dream of mine, though. I always dreamt of being a wife and a Mom. I know not every girl's dream is that one, but it was one of mine.  The guy I was with always used to tell me "marriage is just a piece of paper, nothing more." Now, in those years remember I had turned my back on God. So, I sort of believed my boyfriend at times, that it was "just a piece of paper." Although another part of me just thought being a wife was being committed and in love with one person forever. Both of those things are true, to an extent, but when I came back to the Lord I realized marriage is something much more beautiful. It's not just a role, it's not just loving one person forever, it's not living with someone "the right way"... it's an actual portrayal of Jesus and His bride which is the church. Which is us, Christ-followers. It's to love Jesus and love our spouse. It's to submit to Jesus and submit to our spouse. The reason I left my boyfriend wasn't because he didn't propose or give me children, although I was kind of sad about that, it was because I knew something was missing and I needed to run back to Jesus. When that boyfriend of mine said "you do your thing and I'll do mine and we'll see where we end up," I knew he wasn't going to change and wasn't interested in coming to Jesus with me. As we all know, the Holy Spirit convicted me all the more, and I left that relationship. To be honest, I still think about where I might be had I not listened to the Lord and stayed in that relationship. Crazy stuff!

After I left him, I went on a few dates with other guys and had one that lasted a few months actually. But, God showed me again that I was not where He wanted me to be and who He wanted me to be with. Fast forward a bit, and God brought Yale (my now husband) back into my life.

Yale and I used to work together at the same company. We were not super close, but we did talk on occasion and have lunch together sometimes. I left the company, and Yale had left a little bit before me. We did not keep in contact after that. One night, however, I posted on Facebook that I wanted someone to take me to the Cincinnati Zoo for the Festival of Lights at Christmastime. Wouldn't you know, Yale messaged me out of nowhere and said he would take me there! He hates when I talk about this, but he was actually kind of a jerk on that 'date.' He didn't seem interested in me, he didn't seem like he wanted to be there. I was all excited because I love Christmas and festivals and all the things, so it was a real bummer that he was being a bummer. We hung out that night though for quite some time, and I got to see who he was and how he acted. When he took me back home I thought to myself "well that was a waste." We didn't end up really talking or anything for about a week after. But something in the back of my mind was saying to message him again. So I did, and the rest was history.

I did not shove religion down my husband's throat. I did not pester him into coming to church with me. I didn't scream at him "you have to be saved or else..." I simply told him how glorious a life with Jesus was, and shared my testimony with him and was just there to listen to him. He eventually came around to the idea of asking Jesus into his life and I was able to help lead him to the Lord hallelujah! We were engaged shortly after that, and 9 months later we were married. 1 year later we had our first son, and 3 years after that we had our second son. What do you know, God literally made my dream come true! 

So why did I just share all that... I shared to say God can make your dreams come true too, friend. It might be scary to leave or lose something/someone you love, trust me I know full well. It might seem like you're sinking and don't know where to turn or who to trust. It might feel like "Christianity is nothing but a fun-sucking, made up religion..." but will you trust me when I say it is the complete opposite of all that? Living a life for Jesus and with Jesus is most definitely not about religion, it's about a personal relationship with Him! It does not mean you will "get" everything you want and life will be perfect, matter of fact life is harder when you walk with Jesus (John 16:33). But He can lead you to where you've always dreamed of being, if it's in His will and you walk according to it! I would not trade my life now for anything this world has to offer. And trust me friend, He's got so much good in store for you too. Let's pray:

Father I thank You always for calling me out of where I was, and bringing me to so much goodness and blessings. I pray for those reading my blog today, that they would listen for Your voice. That they would finally surrender the things that are holding them back and give it all to You. That they would come to know and love and serve You, and trust that You are good and have good in store for them! Thank you for another day of life, and for walking beside us all our days. You are a good, good Father. In Jesus Name I pray, amen!